


The Irate Inspector and the Case of the Ferric Firefly

by FoxFireside



Series: The Irate Inspector [2]
Category: Firefly, Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Genre: Crossover, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-20
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-09 09:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1144607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxFireside/pseuds/FoxFireside
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A spaceship full of people dressed like they're living the wild west?  Of course Phryne and Jack would end up stuck on the good ship 'Firefly'...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Irate Inspector and the Case of the Ferric Firefly

**Author's Note:**

> A crossover with the television show Firefly (set before the BDM ‘Serenity’). It’s pretty simple, but I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Don’t let MFMM go the way of Firefly (cancelled after two seasons)! Make your views known via the ABC’s website/twitter/facebook site and/or by contacting your country’s MFMM television channel!

The moment they stumbled into the cargo bay of the battered vessel, Jack knew they were in trouble.  The sound of weaponry being readied was the same in this bizarre world as it was in the streets of Melbourne – even if the weapons now pointed at Jack and Phryne look nothing like the revolvers and coshes common to St Kilda.

“Well, that’s a bit rude,” Phryne remarked, calmly surveying the armed people ranged about the walkway above them.  Jack shot her a silent glare, hoping she would take the hint that perhaps this wasn’t the best time to air grievances.  In fact, one could argue that this moment and place – just moments after waking up in a metal vessel full of people dressed like cowboys, after having been struck by a bolt of lightning while chasing a criminal through the stormy streets of Melbourne - was quite possibly the _worst_ time for Phryne to make her usual sort of splash.

Mind you, Jack didn’t lower the gun in his hand.  Whatever this place was and however he and Phryne got here, he was determined not to be shot by these oddly dressed people if he could help it.

“Easy now,” a voice rang out as Jack’s finger twitched near the trigger.  “I’d hate to be killin’ you good folks when we’ve only just met.”

The speaker – a young messy-haired man in a long brown coat – leaned over the railing and grinned disarmingly.

“We don’t want any trouble.” Jack said, gun still trained on a dangerous-looking man who was staring at Phryne like a dog at its dinner.

“Glad to hear it.  Trying to avoid trouble is a hobby of mine.  Now…” the younger man grinned again, but his eyes were calculating and clever.  “Who are you and how the _hell_ did you get onto my ship?”

**

It took a while for explanations to be made by both sides, but eventually Phryne and Jack found themselves seated in a dining area with mugs of steaming not-tea in front of them.

Jack couldn’t quite get his head around it, despite the evidence of his own two eyes.

He and Phryne were on a space ship.  A vessel sailing through space.  A ship crewed by an odd bunch of probable criminals.  In the future.  Between entire galaxies of inhabited planets. 

All thanks, somehow, to a freak lightning strike.

Jack drank some more of his not-tea and pressed his fingers to his forehead as a headache threatened to form.

His developing headache was not helped by the way Phryne had taken to the situation like a duck to water.  After a moment’s stunned silence, she’d shaken off her concerns and was currently engaged in conversation with a grease-stained young woman who’d been introduced as the ship’s mechanic.

“That’s an a-grade shiny woman you got yourself there.”  The ship’s captain slid into a seat beside Jack and followed the direction of his gaze.

“She’s not, we…thank you,” Jack finally answered, giving up on trying to explain the complexities of his relationship with Miss Fisher to the captain of a genuine space ship.  Judging by the look on Mal Reynolds’ face, Jack wasn’t fooling him anyway.

But the young captain was surprisingly good at drawing Jack into conversation.  He talked about the crew of the ship and told stories about close calls with enemies and the beauty of the depths of space.

Jack was so engrossed in the conversation that it took him a few minutes to realise that Phryne had left the room.

“Miss Fisher?”  Jack all but leapt out of his seat, eyes casting about the room in search of his trouble-prone partner.  His worry ratcheted up another notch when he saw that the man ‘Jayne’, who’d been leering at Phryne since the moment he saw her, was nowhere in sight.

“Don’t go panickin’,” Mal said from behind Jack.  "I reckon I got an idea where your missus might be.”

“She’s not my wife,” Jack replied automatically.

Mal grinned.  “That’s good, ‘cause I think she’s a-keepin’ Inara company.”

Jack relaxed a little.  “Oh.  The Companion.  I once met a man with a blue box who had a friend he referred to as his Companion.  It means ‘assistant’, correct?”

Mal’s expression twisted a little in amusement.  “Not quite.”

*

Jack and Mal could hear the women’s laughter before the door of the shuttle even opened.  As the door slid open, the two men were met by the sight of sumptuous silks, jewel-coloured satins and glittering gems cast about the well-decorated space.

And a whole lot of naked dark and pale skin.

“ _Gorram_ …what the hell you doin’, Inara!”  Mal’s face flamed and he waved his hands about as he half-turned away from the barely-dressed women then spun back towards them as if unable to decide whether or not he wanted to look.  “Phryne here ain’t no _Jien Huo_ doxy for you to go tartin’ up!”

To Phryne’s amusement, Jack ignored Mal’s embarrassed shouting and instead cast a withering look at Phryne, completely unfazed by the unexpected nudity.  “Really, Miss Fisher?  We’re stuck in a strange world and you decide to have some sort of fashion show?”

Naked down to the waist, Phryne grinned impishly at Jack, a string of jewels swinging between her breasts as she stalked closer to the two men.  “Inara was admiring my dress and when she mentioned she had an entire wardrobe of rather delectable clothes...well, I just couldn’t help myself.”

Jack raised an eyebrow, determinedly not reacting to all the soft, sleek skin on display. 

“Perhaps it’s time for you to get dressed so we can find a way back home?” Jack said and – _yes_ , that was a flicker of his eyelashes as he _finally_ gave into temptation and snuck a glance down Phryne’s body – crossed his arms over his chest as Phryne and Inara slipped back into their clothes.

Inara caught Jack’s eye for a moment and he smiled at the look of amused respect on the woman’s face.

Mal finally stopped babbling and blushing long enough to help Phryne and Jack find their way back to the dining room as Inara trailed behind them with a faint smile on her lips.

Fifty-six hours later, with the help of River Tam, Phryne and Jack woke up in a Melbourne gutter and spent the following two days trying to reassure everyone that their mysterious disappearance three days earlier had no sinister basis.

At night, curled up in bed together, Jack and Phryne held whispered discussions about the wonders of the universe.  And if Jack occasionally slipped up during a difficult case and let a _"wang ba dan"_ escape his lips…well, it was likely no-one but Phryne noticed.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Translations for those unfamiliar with the “New Chinese” used as part of speech in the Firefly world:
> 
> Gorram – “God damn”
> 
> Jien huo – “Cheap goods” (a cheap whore)
> 
> Wang ba dan – “dirty bastard sons of…”
> 
> Doxy – prostitute
> 
> Companion – a high class, carefully trained prostitute


End file.
